Guide Me Newsletter - Why do we Hurt the Ones we Love?

Dear Friend,

Welcome to the second special February issue of your Guide Me Newsletter. 

Every week for the rest of February you will receive a special issue of this newsletter. If you also have questions about relationships on your mind, let's talk about it to get a new and positive perspective on it!

As always, to create this dialog, I invite you to send me your real questions you're stuck on! I will provide a Guidance Card and coaching tip on your question by sharing them in this newsletter. It's an opportunity to gain a deeper understanding on many personal topics. Most likely, at some point we all come across similar questions and thus will appreciate exploring these questions for personal growth. I hope you enjoy this month's issue. And keep emailing your Guidance questions to karin@guidancecards.com

If you can't see the graphics or Guidance Card image in this newsletter, please go to the newsletter archives in my website, where you'll be able to see this month's issue and previous issues at   http://www.guidancecards.com/Newsletter/Index.php

Wishing you joy,
Karin Bauer
Life and Guidance Coach

P.S.: Don't forget to forward this newsletter to your friends, family and co-workers! Easily share the Guidance Cards website at this link http://www.guidancecards.com/Referral/Share_Friend.php

Why use the "Heart and Soul Dance" card? As you look at the picture in this image, you may notice something that looks like a heart and something that resembles a soul - some may say they are in a struggle, while others may say they are engaged in a dance. Relationships are like that, sometimes there is struggle and sometimes we dance in harmony. It's hard in the dance of love not to step on each other's toes. What may seem like a struggle, can also be seen as a dance.

The main thing to remember, first of all is how much you care about each other. Always remember your love for each other. Next, remember that you are both souls who have come together and each of you needs the space to develop yourselves and grow. Growth is not always easy - especially when it pushes buttons. That is what sounds like is happening with your friend. You're making changes, and your friend reacts. Then your friend pushes your buttons and you react with anger.

It's important in times like that to communicate fully and openly. What is your friend saying? If you listen deeply, you will find out what is really being said. Does she express her feelings to you? Also pay close attention to how you're feeling. Perhaps you're projecting some of your feelings on her, and vice versa.

Hurting the ones we love can stem from a variety of sources. Usually, when we're that close to each other, lashing out at someone is a sign that we feel very comfortable with them. Believe it or not, this can be a positive sign. Someone who picks a fight with you is trusting you enough to go down the not so comfortable road in your relationship. Now it just depends on how you handle this.

Reacting to someone we love in anger especially when they "yank your chain" is a normal, human reaction. However, if you "react" with anger, then you've given your power away. How do you feel after this "reaction"? Usually, giving your power away results in feeling used, unhapy, sad, and distant. Now imagine "not reacting" next time this happens with your friend. Imagine not taking the bait, just staying calm, and instead of defending yourself, calmly asking your friend questions. Ask how she's really feeling about this? Is this about you or is it about her? What can you do to help her feel ok? And really listen to her. Agree to disagree. Allow each other the space to explore.

You'll find this process changes your dynamics and will bring you closer. Conflict really can be an opportunity to be closer! You become equals in the dance of love and your relationship. How do you stop someone who loves you from yanking your chain? Unhook the chain. Just because you're so close, it doesn't mean you need to be in agreement with everything.  

The Heart and Soul Dance card tells you: 

Imagine your soul and heart connecting.

Let your heart and soul dance with joy.

Unhook thoughts that create pain in your heart.

Inner Guidance Question:
What thoughts allow your heart and soul to dance?

(Repeat three times)

Guidance Coach's Tip of the month:
Why do we hurt the ones we love? Because the very nature of close relationships brings out unhealed wounds from your past. With non-reactive patience, trust and love, you can heal these wounds and move on. You can build or re-build a relationship based on mutual respect, equality in power, and healthy, personal boundaries. Keep enforcing this consistently, it's human nature to slip back into old patterns.

If you need further help with Relationships, here are three valuable resources:

1) Read free Articles on Relationships  http://www.guidancecards.com/Resources/Index.php

2) Audio Guidance Cards & Journaling Program on Relationships  http://www.guidancecards.com/Order/Index.php

3) Phone / email Guidance Coaching with Karin Bauer, send an email to express your interest karin@guidancecards.com 

Article by Karin Bauer, Copyright 2006.

Did you enjoy learning about today's topic? Do you wish to get more insights? 

Receive guidance on many other personal growth topics, visit www.GuidanceCards.com. 
Got some feedback, questions or comments? I welcome your thoughts! Email karin@guidancecards.com. 

Hey there! Looking for something fun to do with your kids, your mate or friends?
Discussing a hot topic over dinner and need some guidance?
Go online together - and type in your burning questions to get guidance!
It's fun, unique, eye-opening, and very intriguing!

What's in store for you next year?
Will you transform your life?
Are you curious about the next step to take? 
Find answers to your questions today!

Take the free self-test and find out what's missing in your life!

www.GuidanceCards.com