Guide Me Newsletter - How do I find a Lasting Relationship with Deep Meaning?
Dear Friend,
Welcome to the February '06 issue of your Guide Me Newsletter. Happy Valentines Day for Feb. 14th!
Many questions on the topics of "real relationships, honest commitments, emotional intimacy, and true love" are rolling in! Because of the increased interest and questions, I've decided to launch a special 3-part series this month. Every week for the rest of February you will receive a special issue of this newsletter. If you also have questions about relationships on your mind, let's talk about it to get a new and positive perspective on it!
As always, to create this dialog, I invite you to send me your real questions you're stuck on! I will provide a Guidance Card and coaching tip on your question by sharing them in this newsletter. It's an opportunity to gain a deeper understanding on many personal topics. Most likely, at some point we all come across similar questions and thus will appreciate exploring these questions for personal growth. I hope you enjoy this month's issue. And keep emailing your Guidance questions to karin@guidancecards.com
If you can't see the graphics or Guidance Card image in this newsletter, please go to the newsletter archives in my website, where you'll be able to see this month's issue and previous issues at http://www.guidancecards.com/Newsletter/Index.php
Wishing you joy,
Karin Bauer
Life and Guidance Coach
P.S.: Don't forget to forward this newsletter to your friends, family and co-workers! Easily share the Guidance Cards website at this link http://www.guidancecards.com/Referral/Share_Friend.php
This month's topic:
'Relationships'
Reader’s Guidance Question of the month:
"I would like to know why I have had numerous relationships in my life. It seems that none of these become permanent either through my choice or the other person's. Usually I meet someone who is crossing my path in some way. The last relationship was with a younger man whom I work with. We still care about each other and have managed to maintain our friendship despite the fact that he has found another woman. Someone younger that he can have children with. He doesn't seem very happy but she fits the criteria. He met her over the internet. It is difficult to trust this whole process when I feel it is time to meet someone who I can be with, who will be my life partner. I know a lot of people who go to bars and meet people or find them on the internet. Do people just settle for something mediocre? I feel confused about relationships. There doesn't seem to be a lot of depth to what most people consider 'relationships'."
Guidance Coach Karin’s Answer:
Thank you for your question. It sounds like you've done a lot of thinking about your question, and thank you for elaborating. The more info I have, the more in depth I can go with my answer to your question and situation. Let’s examine this question more closely with a Guidance Card.
There are several Guidance Cards that would be helpful in exploring this question. I’ve chosen the card titled "Open Heart" for your question. Here's the Open Heart Guidance Card:
Why use the "Open Heart" card? As you mention in your question, we go through life and have various experiences. We meet people whom we find interesting and become involved with. Some people we become attached to and fall in love with, while others seem less close and drift away. In today's world, it's probably unrealistic to expect to fall in love only once, and have our first love become a relationship forever. That would sound like a fairy tale of Cinderella and her prince, key words "fairy tale".
The problem is that when we were kids, most of our parents did not prepare us for the reality of relationships. We're told that we will find our mate, fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. (I know of only a few people who've had that experience, however, while they're still together after many years, they've had to work through a lot of relationship challenges and difficulties! Not exactly living "happily ever after", however, they are determined and mostly happy).
In your search for a soul mate or partner, you're given a great chance to learn! Look at this as a wonderful opportunity. Through dating you can learn more about yourself, your needs, interests and preferences. While it's not fun to have your heart broken if you get involved and it doesn't work out, remember that the heart can heal. The trick is not to put up walls and shut out any love. Keep loving, keep going, and keep an open heart!
Even when you are in a healthy relationship, it can become stale, stuck and boring. So your relationships need to change, grow and evolve in order to stay healthy, functional, and accommodate your growth. If you were not prepared as you grew up that this may or even should happen, you were set up with false expectations. You wonder why you're not happy (with or without a relationship) and you begin to feel there's something amiss when you can't commit to someone, get restless, want to end a relationship, or keep going from one relationship to another.
To your question "Do people settle for something mediocre?" Well, certainly some people do. However, keep in mind why that might be though. Is it possible that it's because they've been hurt in the past, as you may have been, too? Two wounded people usually create a wounded relationship. Healing needs to occur first.
This brings us back to the Open Heart card. Remember the most important thing about all of us human beings: We don't just seek love. We ARE love.
Now, give up your agendas when you meet someone new. Don't go out there "looking for a life partner". That is just huge pressure you put on yourself and anyone you meet, and trust me, it can backfire. Instead, firstly, love yourself. Fill your own heart and "stop looking for a mate to fulfill your heart". Go out there and just enjoy yourself, make friends, be light, and delight in your life. Don't give away your energy by worrying about what others "consider to be a relationship" - just be very clear in what you want to give to a relationship and also what you expect. Communication is the key!
The Open Heart card tells you:
Touch the innermost core in your heart.
Embrace your love.
Let your love radiate beyond the barriers of your mind.
The inner Guidance Question on the card asks:
"What does your heart truly want right now?"
(Repeat three times)
Now congratulate yourself! You're on the path to re-connecting to your own heart and your core.
Guidance Coach's Tip of the month:
Relationships are a part of your learning process. Often you meet people who mirror your own issues. Through relationships you're given a great opportunity to resolve things from your past. If you stay aware of these opportunities, you will approach relationships with a whole new attitude. Don't be afraid, just be light and delight.
If you need further help with Relationships, here are three valuable resources:
1) Read free Articles on Relationships http://www.guidancecards.com/Resources/Index.php
2) Audio Guidance Cards & Journaling Program on Relationships http://www.guidancecards.com/Order/Index.php
3) Phone / email Guidance Coaching with Karin Bauer, send an email to express your interest karin@guidancecards.com
Article by Karin Bauer, Copyright 2006.
Did you enjoy learning about today's topic? Do you wish to get more insights?
Receive guidance on many other personal growth topics, visit www.GuidanceCards.com.
Got some feedback, questions or comments? I welcome your thoughts! Email karin@guidancecards.com.
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